Friday, April 01, 2005

Getting to Know Him

Daily Reading: Matthew 11&12

Matthew 11:1 “And it came to pass, when Jesus had made an end of commanding his twelve disciples, he departed thence to teach and to preach in their cities.”

So…was he done with the instruction part of discipling the twelve? Were they now going out to start their internships? Matthew also says that he went to teach and preach in their cities. Whose cities? The cities the disciples came from; or the cities of all the people who were listening to him? I assume it’s the disciple’s cities. I wish I could understand this better. I know that God will reveal His Word as He needs us to understand it. I’m wondering though if it wouldn’t be beneficial to take a Bible class somewhere. I’d like to know more.

I love verses 7-9 “And as they departed, Jesus began to say unto the multitudes concerning John, What went ye out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken with the wind? (8) But what went ye out for to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? Behold, they that wear soft clothing are in kings’ houses. (9) But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? Yea, I say unto you, and more than a prophet.”

He just jokes with the people and is so effective here as a speaker. I can hear the people laughing between the questions and while they are being somewhat entertained He is causing them to really question their curiosity. He made them comfortable with admitting their questions and waiting for His answer. He set them up to laugh at themselves and to think for themselves and then to think like Him. It was like He was saying…we’re all friends here…lets be honest with ourselves. We were curious, so we went to see the crazy guy preaching by the river. When we got there…we found ourselves convicted by a prophet…but it was more than that. He was softening our hearts…but why? So that we could accept this man who is least in the kingdom, this man who is greater than Jonah (12:41), greater than Solomon (12:42) and accepting of anyone willing to do the will of His Father as a brother (12:50). What a confusing man this must have been to those who heard Him speak.

I find myself trying so hard to understand even now, what he meant by each phrase he spoke. I love this guy!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Seeing Their Faith

Daily Reading: Matthew 9

Matthew 9:2 "And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing their faith said unto the sick of the palsy; Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee."

I've heard this phrase taught on before but I just think there's more to it than what I've heard. "Seeing their faith." What did He see? What was it that made him say...thy sins be forgiven? I think what most people would explain is that in this particular story, though Matthew doesn't include this detail, the man was lowered into the room from the roof because there were so many people who were thronging the door that he couldn't get in. They literally took the roof apart in order to get to Jesus. In my opinion this isn't what he saw when He saw their faith. It's just my opinion and I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I think since it's written in Matthew without the explanation of the whole roof ordeal something else is meant when it says "seeing their faith"

I wonder who "they" were too. Was it his brothers or his father; was it his friends and what made them so passionate toward this sick man? What is faith? Hebrews says it is the substance of things hoped for...the evidence of things unseen. Faith is not necessarily an action. We interpret it that way because of scriptures like "faith without works is dead" from James. I think faith is simply a resignation to the deity of Christ. I wouldn't doubt that these men who carried the sick man were carrying his shoes too so that he could walk home. Were they talking to him and telling him that he could carry his own bed home or was it that they were so anxious to meet Christ that he saw in their eyes the confidence that He would be their redemption? I don't know. I find this verse so intriguing though and I wish so badly that I could have been there. That's another thing...Matthew wasn't there apparently. He tells the story here but he relates in the following verses how Jesus called him to follow him. I would assume that means he had not yet begun to follow Jesus when this story took place. He heard about it...did Jesus tell him about it? Wouldn't that be something if Jesus told him about it but left out the roof part?

I'm going nuts with this. I need to stop typing and move on with my day.

Monday, March 28, 2005

What To Do

Daily Reading: Matthew 8

Jesus healed so many people and so few of them are heard from again. They do not become the great missionaries of their day. Jesus called his disciples from normal every day jobs. Average Joe’s doing average jobs. He did not call Peter from a life of sin into a ministry so that he could give his testimony to thousands upon thousands. He called him from being average to being excellent. Paul was not a vile sinner…he was a pious thinker. God did not lead him from filth to purity…he led him from a perception of purity to the real thing. Paul became a minister of the gospel by accepting truth and doing it. His testimony was not rags to riches it was from religion to relationship and so it is today. I am called of God to live a life that is beyond the mediocre and to pursue a lifestyle that accentuates the Holy Spirit within me. To free that power of God that longs to prove itself by doing those things I know to do and obeying that voice that calls me to live, move and breath the things of God.

Who am I right now and how can I be better at the things God has placed in my hands to do? What do I have to offer that I’ve been too lazy to give? How can I be an excellent wife? What will make me an excellent mother? How can I do excellent service for my church, my friends, and those who are lost?

Matthew 8:4 “And Jesus saith unto him, See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.”

The leper wasn’t given a commission to tell the world of the healing power of Jesus…he was told to do what the Scriptures instructed and follow the ordinances of the priests. Do what you already know to do and no more. Your testimony is nothing if you do not obey…your offering is your testimony…give it and keep your mouth shut. How simple.

How often I long to give my testimony. I sit in choir or in the pew and think…Oh…I wish I could tell them what happened to me. But maybe I haven’t given my testimony as instructed in the Bible. No…I do not have an offering to bring to a priest but is there some new testament offering I could give in thanks and praise to God for what He has done? What is the equivalent for today?

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Rest

Daily Reading: Psalm 23

Today I’m tired. I just feel the weight of responsibility a little more keenly right now and I want it lifted.

Psalm 23:2 is one of my favorite scriptures….”He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still water.”

Lay down, rest, let the Shepherd do His job and stay out of His way. He can heal, inspire and redefine what it is that I see as broken, dead and hopeless. I must work toward resting and allow myself to be led to places where the water is unbroken by ripples of worry and strife. Rest.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Do You Know My Father?

Daily Reading: Matthew 6

As I read Matthew 6 there is so much to take note of, so much to apply and so much to convict. I go from passage to passage and think of areas of my life that need correction and improvement.

Matthew 6:4 “That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.”

Matthew 6:6 “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”

Matthew 6:18 “That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.”

Three times Jesus reiterated this phrase…thy Father sees what’s done in secret and rewards it openly. Would He have said it three times if He had not meant it? Would He repeat Himself if He did not wish to show us how important it is. Further but spoken previous is the point that verse 1 makes…”Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of you Father which is in heaven.”

I think the main point Jesus was trying to get across was not so much…the way to get a Father’s reward but more importantly…The Father sees! He knows!

Matthew 6:8 “Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.”

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: (15) But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Matthew 6: 26 “Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them,. Are ye not much better than they?”

Matthew 6:30 “Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?”

Matthew 6:32 “(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.”

In eight separate statements, Jesus, emphasizes the truth of who the Father is.

I thought about Jesus’ perspective a bit and how hard it must have been for him to convince people of what He really knew about God. He stood there teaching these people about His Dad. He knew Him and He wanted them to know Him the way He did. He wasn’t trying to teach people not to be materialistic, or vain, or proud, or anything like that…He just wanted them to know His Dad. If we knew God…really knew His personality…we couldn’t be materialistic or self-centered. We wouldn’t struggle with our pride if we knew how in love with us God is. In verse 30 Jesus says…O ye of little faith. He knew that even as He spoke…they weren’t getting it. They were doing what we all do...making a list of what we’re doing right and wrong. They were thinking of ways to improve themselves instead of just resting. Jesus was trying to teach them the basics of faith and we still don’t get it. We search for faith as if it is a plain of higher thinking, but it is not. It is a simple concept of knowing God. God is love, we tell our primary Sunday School children, but we don’t show them how to act when you are loved. We stay busy doing the work of the church and ignoring the kingdom. We seek first the knowledge and allow it to upstage His righteousness and all these things get done by a paycheck that we refuse to let go of, in case God would ask us to send it to Africa.

Matthew 6:34 “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. How dreadful to think that we so often try to tackle the evils of tomorrow. Each day is guaranteed to have some evil and there is no use planning for it, or planning to combat it until we are faced with it. O ye of little faith…KNOW GOD!

Monday, March 21, 2005

An Ounce of Prevention

Daily Reading: Psalm 21

Psalm 21:1-3 “The king shall joy in thy strength, O Lord; and in thy salvation how greatly shall he rejoice! (2) Thou has given him his heart’s desire, and hast not withholden the request of his lips. Selah. (3) For thou preventest him with the blessings of goodness: thou settest a crown of pure gold on his head.”

This is interesting that in verse three he says that the king is prevented with blessings of goodness. Prevented from what? That’s my first question, but beyond that…He uses blessings of goodness to do the preventing. I sort of like that thought. I’ll assume that the king is being prevented from some show of power and might, possibly an impending battle with a foreign ruler who needed some discipline. I think that God prevents the king so that He can do what He wants to do in certain situations. The cool thing is that God prevents him with blessings of goodness. Picture it…”Oh, we can’t go to battle today, we’ve just been given the first place award for best overall landscaping in an undeveloped region of Southwest Asia. We have a lot of luncheons to plan and there’s just no time for those pesky Philistines for at least a month.”

I think God often prevents us still with blessings of goodness. How much simpler it is for us to obey when we are distracted. I’m busy enjoying my husband, son and the responsibility of our lives together and don’t have time to meddle in other people’s affairs at times. I’ve noticed at times I get what I ask for and then don’t have time for other people. Maybe God was giving me what I wanted so I’d stay out of other people’s business and allow Him to work. I sometimes feel guilty that I don’t do more for people, but then I read things like this and realize…there is a time and a place for a helping hand. Sometimes God wants us to reach out and sometimes He wants us to stay out. It’s not something I can discern on my own…I need the Holy Spirit to show me when to do something and when to allow the blessings of goodness to prevent my interventions. It takes faith too. It’s hard to sit back and allow prayer to do its work. Prayer is one of the quickest things we do, and one of the most interrupted methods of solving problems. We send out our requests and then run after them to make sure they get done. Enjoy the prevention…enjoy the roadblocks…they are blessings of goodness to you and to the poor soul you were about to help.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Fight or Flight

Daily Reading: Matthew 2

Matthew 2:13-15 “And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeareth to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and be thou there until I bring thee word: For Herod will seek the young child to destroy him. (14) When he arose, he took the young child and his mother by night, and departed into Egypt: (15) And was there until the death of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Out of Egypt have I called my son.”

I find it interesting that the angel of the Lord gives this message to Joseph. Not so much the giving of the message, but the message itself is interesting to me. I mean…if you read this verse and knew nothing of God or His power you would almost get the impression that He is afraid of Herod. Wouldn’t it have been easier for God to just have killed Herod instead of allowing Herod to kill all those babies? It sounds like He’s running away and allowing all these babies to be destroyed in the process. Some families probably lost more than one child in the mess…children two years and under could even be three children. I can’t imagine the horror of that time. Why would God do it this way?

I don’t have an answer. I really don’t understand it. I’m sure there are theologians that would probably be able to shed some light on it, but I just don’t know.

I do know that God is sovereign and His ways are higher than mine. He must have had good reason and His love for His people didn’t change because He did this. In fact…if I believe that He loves His people as much as He says He does than I cannot believe anything other than what He did was ultimately in the best interest of them and others who would follow. I need not question anything God chooses to do because I believe that He loves me and would not forsake me. This doesn’t change the fact that I don’t understand it, but it allows me to worship Him despite it.

It’s just like Grace. I don’t know why God hasn’t pulled her up from that chair and made her walk, but I know that He loves her more than I do and whatever He chooses to do and whenever He chooses to do it is not my responsibility but His. He is passionately in love with Grace and will do everything in His power to complete the work in her that He has destined for her. What do I know about it?

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

And He Called His Name

Daily Reading: Matthew 1

Matthew 1:21 & 25 “And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. (25) And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.”

These verses are directed to and about Joseph. I wonder how hard it was for Joseph to give over all his rights of husband and father the way he did. His wife was pregnant when he married her and then he was told what to name “his” first born son and did not sleep with his new wife until after she had given birth the first time. Granted she was still a virgin but a body gets a little messed up after giving birth and Joseph didn’t get to enjoy his new bride in her youth. The interesting thing is that he still had all the responsibility of being a husband and father. I’m sure that there were few people who knew or believed that Joseph had not been the one to impregnate Mary. He had to bear that responsibility and shame with her and then I wonder how long it was from the time they were actually married until the time she gave birth. The entire time he was waiting on this pregnant woman who he must have loved dearly, supporting her and helping her and probably questioning everything the whole time. Everyone is different but I know that most men want to name their sons. They want a junior or they want to give him a name they can be proud of. I’m sure Joseph didn’t dislike the name Jesus, but maybe he had something else in mind. Granted it wasn’t his biological son, but he was going to be the one teaching him and feeding him and taking care of him. If it were me I would want something to attach myself to this boy. Something to give me some ownership and to make my responsibility toward him seem more worthwhile. I don’t know if Joseph felt that way or not but God gave Joseph nothing that would make him feel more like the child’s father. He just obeyed. God must have had a lot of trust in Joseph…what if he had decided to disobey…”I’m going to raise this kid, I’ll name him what I want to name him. His name shall be called, Bob.” What if he had completely hijacked the plan? Kidnapped God’s son and instead of carpentry, taught him the trade of accounting? Obviously that didn’t happen and Joseph was obedient. I guess what I wonder most about Joseph is, did he know what a powerful name he was handing to the rest of the world when he did what God had told him to do and stepped up to his responsibility by naming Mary’s son…Jesus? It was a common name back then but it has become the prefix and suffix of powerful prayer. Jesus is the name that will cause knees that have never bent to bow in humility and tongues that have done nothing but curse, to proclaim that He is Lord. He called his name Jesus…one simple act of humble obedience has given me a name for my Savior.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Proving Him

Daily Reading: Malachi 3 & 4

Malachi 3:10 & 11 “Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. (11) And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts.”

When God asks us to prove Him it brings this feeling of excitement in me. I feel it when I pray for the sick or lay my hands over those who are forsaken. God is not done and He will prove Himself. What will we see? He is always the same and never predictable, how will He deliver this time? I am glad to be among the congregation of believers who He challenges to challenge Him. In this case He is challenging us to prove His ability to provide for us, not just provide, but His ability to go beyond what we need and fill our vessels until they overflow. He wants to see us prosper and be in health, even as our soul prospers.

This house is waiting for that blessing. I think of the past nine months and some of the months to come as the hard work of harvesting. Pastor has talked before about the way people often look at sowing and reaping. Some people think that they can sow the seed and the harvest will just show up in their barn. You have to go out and reap the harvest and reaping is the hardest part. Kris and I have been faithful to sow seed when given opportunity and God has been faithful to give us a harvest but taking it all in is hard work. It’s a lot of waiting and a lot of wondering and a lot of reminding ourselves that truth is an unbending bridge and it will be the only way to get to the goal we are looking at.

Not only is He faithful to do what He says…He will also defend us as we go out to harvest. The devourer comes to ruin the seed that is planted. He tries to destroy the fruit that comes or even throw off the timing and bring the fruit too early. When that happens, the fruit is bitter and small…it never ripens as it should. God says he will rebuke this devourer and he will not be successful in this cause.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Sparks, Triggers and Inspiration

Daily Reading: Malachi 1&2, Psalm 8, 38, 68

Psalm 68:27 “There is little Benjamin with their ruler, the princes of Judah and their council, the princes of Zebulun, and the princes of Naphtali.”

Yes…I know…this doesn’t sound like it has anything to do with much of anything else, but this verse sparked a thought that triggered a memory and inspired a decision.

The Thought that was Sparked: As I read verse 27 I thought about Benjamin and the fact that King Saul was from the tribe of Benjamin. He was so humble as he began his life of royalty but pride soon overtook him and he was lost to it. In his folly he made a way for a young soldier by the name of David to rise up and learn to follow the heart of God from an earthly throne. God had become displeased with Saul and found His own heart in David. David was from the tribe of Judah and I wonder…because I have not studied this…if the prophesies of the coming Messiah were spoken before or after David became king? Here’s where I’m going with this. Is it possible that Saul and the tribe of Benjamin would have been the ancestral line of Christ if Saul had not thought so highly of himself and sinned before God? Is it possible that God was looking for someone to do His will and at first Saul filled the bill but as things changed, God once again had to go on a search for a humble and willing heart? Is it possible that once God had favored David and promised him that his descendants would always sit on the throne of Israel, He had to look for a young woman to carry His son as Mary did? Is it possible that it could have been someone else if they had shown the humility and grace that Mary did? Is it possible that the Messiah could have come much sooner if there had been someone capable of being the virgin mother of Christ? Is it possible that even now God has prophesy to fulfill but He is searching for someone who is willing, able and humble enough to get the job done?

The Memory that was Triggered: Sunday, pastor Davis asked us if any of us felt that there was more we are destined to do in the Kingdom of God. Many of us raised our hands. He went on to talk about being in the river and that if you want to be used of God you have to be where the Spirit is flowing, allowing the Holy Spirit to carry you, move you and flow through you. God doesn’t choose his vessels from neatly stacked rows of shiny pots and glimmering vases. He goes to the river and seeks a stone. Just as David went to the river to get 5 smooth stones, one of which killed the giant, God goes looking for smooth stones. People who have been rubbed smooth by the water and the contact with so many other stones. God looks for ready warriors and humble servants. He has so much to get done and so few vessels to work with.

The Decision that was Inspired: I will go to the river…not just to wet my feet, not just to cool my throat, not just to wash my hands, but to take a dive. I will not let my mind continue to justify the world’s standards of morality and decency…I will be a smooth stone, found in the river and ready to be used. I expect this to take time. I expect to see other stones chosen before me and I expect to find the process uncomfortable. I will not leave the river. Yesterday afternoon, we saw a movie…a good, funny, even moral by many standards, movie. However…there was that one f word and a few s words and of course there was that little bit of story that turned out good despite the lie that birthed it’s plot. I still feel that it deserved a thumbs up. I want it to be a good movie because I liked it so much. I want to justify it and hold it up to God and say…this isn’t bad…but I can’t. No matter how hard I try…I can’t hold it up to the Word and still see it as what it should be. I can only see that it is lacking. It frustrates me, but truth is an ever burning fire that will devour what is false. If I do not turn and face God with repentance, I have stepped out of the river…that’s the key. I am not going to tell everyone what a horrible movie it was…in fact I’m not even going to say that I didn’t think it was good. I just can’t go that way myself any more. I have to hold up a standard. Not because I’m afraid of going to Hell. I don’t think that movie would send me to Hell. I must hold up the standard because I need to be used of God. I need Him to be able to look at me and say…she’s the one...she’s going to do that which needs to be done. I want to be chosen…I want to be ready and I must stay in the river. So what is my decision specifically? Well, it’s to be discerning and know what things will drag me from the cool water and throw me to the banks where I find myself dry and thirsty. I am just going to commit to being where God wants me at all times and specifically today I am going to get on my knees and do that repenting that I need to do.

Friday, March 04, 2005

The Upright In Heart

Daily Reading: Zechariah 14, Psalm 4, 34, 64

Psalm 64:10 “The righteous shall be glad in the Lord, and shall trust in him; and all the upright in heart shall glory.”

I am thinking to myself how self-righteous I can be. Hoping that I do not come across to others the way I sometimes look to myself. Just a little while ago I called the church and questioned the receptionist about whether or not there was child-care at the church. I did what I had to do…I wasn’t doing anything wrong…but I felt like I had nailed her down and possibly made her feel bad for giving out bad information. After I hung up I questioned myself. “Do you think you need to fix everything?” I tried very hard to be nice and not sound arrogant to the receptionist but I still felt bad after I hung up. I remember being the receptionist and I hated it when people questioned me, or asked me where I got my information. I was defensive and thought…”do you think I’m stupid just because I’m a receptionist? Do you think I’m lying to you to get you off the phone because I’m a slacker with a mediocre job? What do you think…that I am not capable of knowing what I’m talking about because I’m JUST a receptionist?” I felt so frustrated in that position and wished I could prove to people how capable I really was. Now here I am on the other side of the phone thinking…I know this girl doesn’t know what she’s talking about and I’ve got to get the facts. I can only hope that poor Amy is not as self absorbed and defensive as I was. I really was nice to her and tried very hard not to be belittling. She did everything right…got the information, asked the right people and offered all the help she could. I guess I am once again realizing how silly I was and can still be I’m sure. What does that have to do with Psalm 64:10? Well, just this…the upright in heart shall glory. My heart has not always been upright. No matter how good things are if your heart is not upright you won’t glory. You won’t worship, you won’t appreciate the goodness around you. It’s like this morning. All morning we had absolutely beautiful weather but I didn’t know it because I didn’t go outside, open any windows or look at the evidence around me that was screaming to me to come out and enjoy it. If I had realized it earlier I would have opened some windows and let in the sunshine and warm air a lot sooner. As it was I opened them just in time for the rain to start. A heart that is not upright can’t appreciate all the good around them. They have the windows to their soul closed because they are protecting their esteem and their ego. I wonder sometimes as I look back at the jobs I’ve had and some of the frustrations I endured, what did I miss? How many times did I have opportunity to glory but my heart was upside down?

Just before I started writing this journal I called a couple from our Sunday School class who just had a baby and are getting meals delivered to them. She and I talked about the baby and I was able to give her some suggestions for his jaundice. We talked about Sunshine and I was sincere in my desire to help her. Nothing false led me to talk about how to get the little guy into the sunshine and let it soak into his skin…I told her that because I want to encourage her and help that baby become healthy. It was raining as we talked but just after I started typing I felt the sun warm my shoulder through the window. I began to smile and just thanked God for healing sunshine and the opportunity she now had to get that baby into its rays. She lives very close by so I knew that she was getting that same opening of sky that I was. At that moment my soul was open and my heart was upright as I intended to serve her and her baby…I gloried in the sunshine because of it. Had I been thinking of only my daily routine and what not…I would still have felt the sunshine but it wouldn’t have meant anything to me.

Shine
Shine down on me Jesus
I want to see what you see around me
How many tears have I wasted on circumstance?
How many moments were stolen by fear, what’s it worth?
In the palm of your hand
Help me to stand
Shine down on me.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

He Only Is My Rock

Daily Reading: Zechariah 12&13, Psalm 2, 32, 62

Psalm 62:1&2 “Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation. (2) He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved.”

The past nine months have been a test of who we trust. Our minds have been stretched and our faith has become firm in this time. My concerns have ranged from wondering what people have thought of our decisions, to will I have enough money to buy my son pajamas? I find myself grinding my teeth at times and wonder if it’s a sign that my faith isn’t strong enough. I am resolved however to plowing through. I don’t pretend to think that I am able to resolve the issues that we are wading in, but I am just stubborn enough to believe that I can get through these things without losing my mind. I can’t fix it, but I can laugh at it and I can worship despite it and I can give God full glory for each day, and each triumph and each promise that leads me to trust Him more. There is something I know, and I will not let what looks logical or wise by earthly standards become more powerful than the direction that God has pointed us in. What I know is that God has led us, that He does not disappoint and that from Him, cometh my salvation. No other avenue can be trusted. Kris’ job is not our salvation, Kris’ next bonus check, website jobs and tax returns are not our salvation. God uses these things to get us through and His timing has been absolutely incredible. We are thankful for these things, believing that all of them have been blessings from God and not from the cleverness of our own minds or the cunning of our own hands. God only is my rock.

Psalm 62:5-12 “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. (6) He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defense; I shall not be moved. (7) In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. (8) Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah. (9) Surely men of low degree are vanity, and men of high degree are a lie: to be laid in the balance, they are altogether lighter than vanity. (10) Trust not in oppression, and become not vain in robbery: if riches increase, set not your heart upon them. (11) God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this: that power belongeth unto God. (12) Also unto thee, O Lord, belongeth mercy: for thou renderest to every man according to his work.”

I shall not be moved. I am set on a course and to move would be to deviate from it. I am focused on a goal and I have a defense to guard my way. I still believe that one way or another not only will we be out from under two mortgage payments but we will see that God has paid for this house. He wanted us here. I believe that beyond all doubt. When we decided to do this I don’t think either of us knew what a great blessing it would be. I think we saw only the house. I think now that God wants this house paid for and our finances opened up to His work. I think He wants us to give and give until there is doubt as to our wisdom and common sense. We will believe for His provision and He will render to us according to our work. Not our work for man, but our work for His kingdom.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Proud Doer

Daily Reading: Zechariah 10&11, Psalm 1, 31

Psalm 1:1-3 “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. (2) But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. (3) And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”

One of my absolute favorite scriptures. Such promise. To know that there is reward for living upright and delighting in the law of the Lord. I think people get these attitudes confused with religion sometimes and that’s not what it’s about. It’s about showing honor and respect to God. It’s worship in the form of surrender. I will live in such a way that God is glorified. The way to do that is by honoring his Word and His law…whether I have to or not. No…I am not under law but I am humbling myself to serve the law and the author of it by obeying it. I am free to do it…I get to.

Psalm 31:23&24 “O love the Lord, all ye his saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer. (24) Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.”

The proud doer. I just wrote that it’s humbling to serve the law and this verse says the doer is proud. I guess the difference is that we are proud of the law of the Lord…it is what we are delighting in. How could you delight in something you aren’t proud of…something you don’t respect. We respect and find pride in the law of the Lord and we serve it humbly. Our hope is in the Lord…verse 24…and that hope is secure. We find ourselves completely secure regardless of the pain that comes from living here on this earth. We are strengthened because we hope.

I am tired this afternoon. I find that I have little to say and am little able to comprehend what I read at times. My insights are more or less ramblings and I wonder at my own inability to make sense of common sense.

I know this…God is good…I will rest in that hope…I will serve that truth…it is my delight.

Monday, February 28, 2005

I Shall Not Die, But Live

Daily Reading: Zechariah 9, Psalm 28, 58, 88, 118

Psalm 118:17-19 “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. (18) The Lord hath chastened me sore: but he hath not given me over unto death. (19) Open to me the gates of righteousness: I will go into them, and I will praise the Lord:”

Rarely are we faced with the possibility that what we are going through would bring us death but I see this scripture as a common plight for me. There are trials, testing and disciplines that seem insurmountable at times. No…they will not kill me but they seem to want to drag me down so deep that I cannot see the light of day. Although I would say that the whole tubal pregnancy thing came close to being a life or death situation. I wasn’t afraid of dying though. I think it’s the little things that really get to me. The things that make me worry and the things that make me cringe at my failures or stupidity. Those situations cause me to choose…death or life. I shall not die but live…and declare the works of the Lord. It doesn’t matter what it looks like or how horrible I feel about it I am not on earth to declare the works of my mind or my hands…I will declare the works of the Lord. Yes, as verse 18 says, I am chastened sore, my heart is pained by my own doing and the shame I have endured by the realization of my depravity, but God does not give me over to death…I am now disciplined I have received whatever chastisement I deserve from my Father and I am free as never before to walk through the gates of righteousness. I will go in and I will praise the Lord. No wasting time trying to clean myself up with filthy rags…just open the gates! I am free to go in…I don’t care what I did or who I did it to…God has forgiven me, chastened me and brought me to life…the gates are no longer closed for me. It’s interesting to me that no matter how righteous we truly are…we are not carried into the gates of righteousness we have to get up and test the legs of the new creation that we are. We make a choice to either live on the side of death or on the side of life. Passing through the gates of righteousness we choose to believe the forgiving and merciful grace of God and stand up in His righteousness as whole and newborn. We declare as the Psalmist did…I will go into them, and I will praise the Lord.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Paths of Mercy and Truth

Daily Reading: Zechariah 7 & 8, Psalm 25, 55, 85, 115, 145

Psalm 25:4 “Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths.” Whenever I read that I picture a forest that is overgrown and though there are paths cut out and obvious…God’s ways are covered and He has to lift some of the brambles and vines in order to teach us His paths. His paths are narrow and overgrown from lack of use. Once you are on His path the way is firm, but the path is hard and because few choose to take it, it can be lonely.

Psalm 25:10 “All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.” His paths are mercy and truth to those who are faithful to His ways. You can’t walk His paths with idle mind or selfish ambition. There isn’t room for what you want to take and what He wants you to take on the same path…in fact…you can’t take anything with you. He will carry whatever you need. He said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light…He wants your hands free and your feet swift.

Psalm 55:22 “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” The righteous shall never be moved… shaken… disturbed… afraid… deprived or left alone. We are sustained by an ever present guide and companion who shows us a path that is difficult, but rewarding and then allows us to give Him every ounce of baggage we think we are going to need along the way. Little by little He proves to us that we have never needed any of it and that if we trade in our burden for His…we will find ourselves delivered in peace from the enemy of deception and confusion.

Psalm 85:10-13 “Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. (11) Truth shall spring out of the earth; and righteousness shall look down from heaven. (12) Yea, the Lord shall give that which is good; and our land shall yield her increase. (13) Righteousness shall go before him; and shall set us in the way of his steps.” Mercy and truth again…these are the definition of the paths of the Lord according to Psalm 25:10. These paths meet each other and are taken by righteousness and peace who commune with one another and are so close they literally kiss each other…they love each other…they are not the same without the other. Truth springs out of the earth…coming up from the foundation and righteousness looks down from the canopy above…We are surrounded, covered above and supported beneath by the absolute reality of the love of God. His law and His goodness are met in our hearts as we walk this road of mercy and truth. How can we even consider going another way?

Psalm 115:1 “Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth’s sake.” Give glory to the name of the Lord for the sake of the pathways. For the sake of the clear understanding and open door to peace…give glory to the name of the Lord.

My hope is set on the reality of these words. Knowing that I am guided by a hand that longs to set me on paths of mercy and truth allows me to take each step with confidence and look before me with joy.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Followed by Goodness and Mercy

Daily Reading: Zechariah 4-6, Psalm 23

Psalm 23:6 “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

I love the 23rd Psalm. The first verses I memorized as a child were these 6 and they ring in my head in so many situations. When my mom was sick with cancer…”yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” So often in situations where I want to reach in and “do something” but I don’t know what to do and I don’t necessarily have the leading of the Holy Spirit as to direction I hear Him whisper the words “He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.” The words to this Psalm have fit into so many circumstances and verse six sums it all up…the goodness and mercy of the Lord are concentrated in His Word. His Word is life and security for me. And that assurance follows me wherever I go, allowing me to dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. What goodness! What sweet goodness it is to live in such security. The Word of God wraps itself around us when we seek the truth it holds. As we get closer and closer to the life it brings we find it is seeking us and the life we need.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

A Good Name

Daily Reading: Zechariah 2&3, Psalm 22, 52, 82, 112, 142, Proverbs 22

Psalm 52:9 “I will praise thee for ever, because thou hast done it: and I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints.”

In the same verse he says both that it is done and that he will wait. This is the way it is. Here is faith. Faith knows that the work is done and beyond that faith knows that the name of the Lord is unfailing. It is a good name…I can wait without shame on that which has been signed for by the Lord because His name is good. His account is caught up, and His integrity is beyond reproach. He never fails.

Psalm 112:1-4 “Praise ye the Lord. Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord, that delighteth greatly in his commandments. (2) His seed shall be mighty upon the earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed. (3) Wealth and riches shall be in his house: and his righteousness endureth for ever. (4) Unto the upright there ariseth light in the darkness: he is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous.”

I like this…the man that fears the Lord and delights in His commandments will have seed mighty upon the earth…wealth and riches…righteousness that endures and light in dark times or places. Who wouldn’t want this as a legacy? To live a life that is honoring to God more than yourself and reap rewards such as these would be so incredible. I want this. I want to have such assurance as this and live with this sort of faith.

Proverbs 22:1 “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.”

This verse speaks of integrity being of greater importance than riches. The verses I quoted previously would set me thinking that a good name is none other than the name of the Lord and that if I choose to honor that name, He will bless me with the riches and favor that I cannot attain on my own. My goal will be His presence and my aim will be his heart. I cannot fail to be blessed if I am seeking Him and longing to understand His ways.

Trust in Him, I have to trust that yesterday’s moments of pain are not the end of my reward. Eternity must hold more than just a nice place to live. Eternity will be resolution, it will be affirmation and kind encounters. Eternity will be the warmth we missed from broken childhoods and the filling in of voids left after painful separation. Eternity will bless us beyond the capabilities of this world and we will be free to enjoy all that it has for us.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Lighting the Candle

Daily Reading: Zechariah, Psalm 18, Psalm 48

Psalm 18:28 “For thou wilt light my candle: the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.”

Last night we went to the monthly leadership meeting at church. We watched a video that was basically a drama played out at a church. It was a monologue of a girl who was explaining why the church doesn’t reach her generation. It was touching and really insightful. I sat there and felt so out of touch with the people I’m supposed to be ministering to. The video was actually several years old and the generation she portrayed is now the same group who are sitting in my newlywed class right now. I felt so convicted that I didn’t know this group of young men and women. It is true that I cannot ever relate to them on an empathetic level, but I need to understand them. I need to know what my words mean to them. How truth is interpreted by them and what it takes to make them understand the reality of absolute truth. Granted the couples we are working with are all saved, but are they sure? Are they confident? Do they really know how much God loves them? Do they know what commitment is? Do they understand that they really can have successful marriages? The Lord will enlighten my darkness. Those areas where I cannot see beyond my own experiences and my own convictions…He will walk with me and light my candle so that I can see the difference in me and them…so that I can see the confusion that they are bearing and show them the same light that guides me can reveal truth to them. I felt so strongly last night that my prayers for these couples have been slightly amiss. That I have not prayed enough for their individual hurts to be healed, for their minds to be transformed and their hearts molded correctly. What an opportunity…to come to Christ with your mate and know that as you are learning to know who Jesus is…He is conforming you to himself as you are conforming to each other. How tight the bond will be when these young Christians are fully dedicated to the things of God.

Psalm 48:14 “For this God is our God forever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.”

I think one of the things that keeps me from relating to people is my fear of taking risk. It’s a risk to ask personal questions. What if they don’t like me? What if I hurt their feelings? What if it’s none of my business? What if they think I’m so naïve, I’m stupid? Wouldn’t it be better if I just make myself available and if they want to come to me, they can? No! Not anymore…ouch…I don’t like this. God will be our guide…even unto death. This death is not a heart stops beating, throw her in the coffin death…for me this verse is talking about my flesh dying to the Holy Spirit. I need to stop being afraid. He will guide me to the death of my flesh and to the revelation and power of the Holy Spirit. I have to move beyond what’s comfortable. That sounds so cliché and in truth…I’ve always felt like I’ve done that, but there are still areas I’m afraid to go. I need to constantly be aware that God is my God not just forever, but wherever. He will guide…as that guide, He will protect, He will comfort and He will be glorified. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve ever given Him the opportunities He’s desired. Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thank God…I am not confined to what I am capable of…Bless the Lord Oh My Soul, for He hath redeemed me and I am a new creature. Lord, help me recognize the flesh that so desires to creep from below my new feet and do the work that only you can do.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Made as a Signet

Daily Reading: Haggai

Haggai 2:19 “Is the seed yet in the barn? Yea, as yet the vine, and the fig tree, and the pomegranate, and the olive tree, hath not brought forth: from this day will I bless you.”

Haggai 2:23 “In that day, saith the Lord of hosts, will I take thee, O Zerubbabel, my servant, the son of Shealtiel, saith the Lord, and will make thee as a signet: for I have chosen thee, saith the Lord of hosts.”

The first verse here stood out to me because of it’s promise. From this day will I bless you. Maybe it doesn’t look like anything is happening, maybe the trees and the vine are still bare but it takes time to produce fruit but when it comes you will be amazed at the abundance. That’s not exactly what it says but that’s the picture I get from reading it. Don’t be discouraged by what you see...blessing is not dependant on what your imagination is capable of…God can make son’s from rocks…He can make something from nothing and He can make blessings out of despair.

In the second verse His words to Zerubbabel are so inspiring…I wish to hear Him speak to me in such a way. I will make thee as a signet. A signet, if I’m not mistaken is like a signature stamp. A signet ring had a mark that when pressed in wax of some sort left a seal and an impression that let the recipient know it was from the owner of the seal or the ring. Rings and stamps like this were carefully guarded and if one were stolen it was like having your identity stolen. God was giving Zerubbabel the honor of being a seal with His own signature. His words, his actions, his service and comfort were all so approved that God was willing to put His name on it. How well Zerubbabel must have known God to have been so recognized. The verse calls him a servant in previous verses he is mentioned as the governor a position he must have taken very seriously. As I’m typing this I am realizing that just as Zerubbabel was chosen and given this honor, so are we in that we are given the opportunity to be in Christ, who when on earth said if you have seen me, you have seen the Father. Christ was a signet of God Himself. His death brought us this great chance to likewise wear the seal that signifies we belong to God. Our words, our actions, our service and comfort are given the approval of God’s workmanship. We are made as a signet just as Zerubbabel and just as God said to him long ago…he says to us…I have chosen thee. What honor we take for granted.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

The Just And The Unjust

Daily Reading: Zephaniah 3

Zephaniah 3:5 “The just Lord is in the midst thereof; he will not do iniquity: every morning doth he bring his judgment to light, he faileth not; but the unjust knoweth no shame.”

Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.”

These verses are prophetic and are directed toward Jerusalem mainly. They are talking of times I am not familiar with and happenings I do not understand. However, knowing that my God is the same yesterday, today and forever, I can trust that these words are true for the world as I know it. What struck me in verse 5 was the last line…the unjust knoweth no shame. God faithfully brings truth, he shows what is right and what is wrong and does not quit in his attempts to correct and give light to better things. Yet, the unjust refuse to change. It is not true that they are blind…they can see the unfailing hand of God but they are not ashamed. This makes me think of Adam and Eve before the fall. They were naked and they were not ashamed. At that point man was unashamed because of his innocence. In this case man is unashamed because of his humanism. He took the lie that Satan gave to Adam and Eve a step further and believed that not only would he be like God if he sinned…but that he could be god himself. An unjust man can only be unjust if he believes himself to be above the truth that God faithfully reveals. He sees himself as greater than the law of God and unable to be affected by the judgment of God. His salvation is in himself and his own abilities. His freedom is limited to his own power to satisfy himself. There is also a scripture that comes to mind from Habakkuk that says the just shall live by his faith. Would it be wrong to say that if the unjust know no shame, that the just do know shame? I don’t think so. To know shame is to know your own faults and fallibility. To know what sin is and to know the punishment deserved for it. Shame comes with the acknowledgement of your own weakness…this is why living by faith is so important. To live by faith is to live a step beyond your shame. Understanding your weakness and then acknowledging the greatness of God. Yes, I have been wrong but I am made right in the presence of God. I am corrected, changed and even honored by my place in Christ who is seated at the right hand of the Father. The just have to live by faith…or they would die in shame. I love it when the Old Testament preaches Grace. I am thinking that a study on being just would be interesting after looking at these scriptures.

Verse 17 is just beautiful in its description of the love of God our Father toward His children. I love verses that talk about God singing over us. What must that sound like? I think it happens all the time. He sings over us…we often hear about the angels singing and the choirs of heaven but does He constantly join in? Is there a hush before He begins and then the rest of heaven joins in? When we sing in church, does he sing our songs? Wouldn’t it be awesome to get to heaven and hear God singing a song that you wrote? Can anyone hear anything else while He is singing and does He sing over us individually just at times that we need or deserve it? Are His songs specific to circumstances or emotions or are they love songs from the heart of God? I cannot wait to hear God sing.